guilt! why is it so easy to be drawn into the whirlpool of guilt? here i am floating around, no, Flailing around, trying not to drown. it's murkiness takes away my breath. the heaviness pulls me under. i bob briefly above it, thinking i'm finally safe and suddenly get pulled back down by unseen tentacles. my heart beats fast, i feel pain in the pit of my stomach. i want to tuck myself into the fetal position and sleep, but i can't seem to so much as float in here. i am drowning. i feel like the green slimy scum that sits where the water is stagnant. i need someone to reach into the darkness and pull me to safety. but i realize that i have to save myself. i need to conquer this master of deception. to see it for what it is. it's not always nice to look at. sometimes it brings on more pain. but once i get past the sludge and green slime, things will be clear again.