where be the masters to guide me on this journey?
to help me to conquer the thoughts that pour
into my meditations. to steer me onto the right
path. to pull me out of the quagmire when i can't
quite find my footing.
so often i feel i am in this alone. tromping through
the brush, searching for an opening.... into what? i
don't know. into the right door? the right time?
sometimes i just forget to listen. i fill my space with
noise that drowns out what i need to hear.
the calm, soothing sounds telling me to be patient.
to be in the moment. telling me that it's all here.
it's all now. to just be still. to just be. just be.
and i know this to be true. that it's all here inside me.
that i just need to be still. to listen. to be.

wandering around inside my head
i trip over memories of the past.
clutter needing to be tossed out
like this mornings coffee grounds.
i tiptoe around a spinning wine bottle,
an image of dad, broken, walking away
suitcase in hand.i trip over myself huddled
in my bed under the covers, hearing
what i am certain is the devils voice
beckoning me to come down these
stairs. but the house has no stairs.
piles of memories are every where.
reminders of a broken childhood
of sadness.but i'm sure that if i seach
long enough, i'll find smiles,
and laughter, scattered among the
tears and pain, as i wander around
inside my head.